I am going through a change. I am not the same person I was. It is kind of a strange feeling to be able to take a step back and realize that I am changing while I am in the midst of becoming a new me. And to be honest I already miss the old me. The only reason possibly being is that I don't know who the new me is going to be yet.
Does this make any sense? I have had several conversations with friends and with Kenny telling them I don't feel like myself anymore. I am not sure if this feeling is only because I am a mommy now. Or if it is all the transition going on in my life right now. I have never loved change.
So right now I am going through each day with a knot in my stomach and my head in this perpetual cloud. A knot full of the unknown and unending love. Is it that I am terrified to love something more than I have ever loved anything else in my entire life. My entire life. And so unconditionally.
Somehow one little girl made me realize how precious each second of life is and at the same time turned our world completely upside down. That sounds so trite.
Hoping my head stops spinning soon and I start to find myself again. But until then I am just holding on and thanking God for each day I have with her.
4 comments:
Love this post! Wishing you the best of luck during your transition and I am sure that you will love the new you, since it you will always have a part of the "old you" with you and you will have a sweet little baby to remind you often of just how awesome you are!! Take care!!
Aw, ENJOY IT! That's so sweet!
I love this post as well. I can't even imagine what it feels like but with my little one closer to arriving i can only assume i will understand soon enough. Thank you againf or the maternity clothes suggestions. they have been super helpful!
Hang in there momma! I had an unbelievable change in emotion after about 2 months with Morgan. I think a lot of it is your body trying to get back to "normal" (HA!)and all the fun that goes along with it. Snuggle up with that sweet girl and enjoy this time!
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